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I was playing Civilization III on my computer but listening to the TV in the background, ice skating. After a while, I realized the music was Christmas music, the first I've heard this year. I love Christmas music. Two of my favorites, one religious, one secular are these two that follow. John Berry who is singing O Holy Night has eyes like John, just not quite as green and Jon Bon Jovi is such a delight (hmm, he also resembles ...) so I am posting his version of my favorite tune, Blue Christmas. I usually prefer Elvis' version of the song.
I usually wait until a week or so before Christmas before putting up ornaments, etc., but now I've gone and gotten in the mood. :) Before you know it, I'll be up to my elbows in Nut Bread dough.
Some of the greatest gifts God gave retired people are computers (to stay in touch with friends free), television (to watch the hunk of the month, uh ... I meant movie of the month and enough free time to enjoy both.
I saw all my favorite shows this week on television including The Mentalist with Simon Baker. I was distressed to learn that Simon Baker is thought to be gay by 63% of people although he is married with three kids. I'm not down on gays but I don't lean in that direction. Whatever, he's still good looking and 'hot.' Simon Baker has signed a Mind Blowing $30 Million Contract with Warner Brothers for his role of Patrick Jane on CBS’ Hit Series ‘The Mentalist’. This amount guarantees the Austrailian Actor $430,000 an episode. As if his paycheck is not enough, Baker will also be now credited as Producer when the 5th Season begins. Additionally, he will receive back end profits from Repeat episodes on TNT network. Nice going Mr. Baker (also known as Simon Denney).
Speaking of hot, my latest infatuation is the guy who plays E. J. DeMeara on Days of Our Lives. Whooeeee!
Oh My!I had a wonderful holiday with my daughter and all four grandsons. First time we've all been together for years and the very first time at my place with Jayne's husband also in attendance. We had a huge dinner. There are enough left overs to feed me for a week or so. My favorite dish was the sweet potato recipe. They all left today but Jayne stopped in and told me good bye. The three older boys will go back to Iowa City soon, they go to the university there. We'll probably get together again at Christmas.
I don't know what caused Jayne's change of heart but believe God answered my prayers, been praying for years to heal our relationship. John's post today reminded me that we have to wait for God's time for His timing and purposes are correct.
Bible, Books and BridesJayne took some good photos. She will unload them from her camera and send them to me by eMail. I'll post some later. I was happy to see that I look so much better physically. This time last year, I was at death's door and started my dialysis. I was very overwhelmed at first and I've had five surgeries and two pneumonias in the past year but here I still am. :) Praise God from whom all blessings flow. And, thank you to so many dear friends who prayed for me and encouraged me. John, I don't think I could have done it without your encouragement. You all have no idea how you helped me hold on. Thank you much.
And, as always,
Most of my life, I have prayed every day. I was taught that to 'pray without ceasing' as we are told in the New Testament to do is to pray every day, at least once. The only days I have not prayed were when I was sick and unconscious and I wonder if I didn't do it in my altered state since I was so used to doing so. :) I try not to pray for trivial things for myself but sometimes I do feel like the 'fiddler on the roof,' who sang 'Wish I Were a Rich Man.' As he said, would it be against some mighty plan to let me have wealth? :) I have never prayed for wealth. I do pray for health sometimes. He did say we could bring our cares to Him in prayer along with our worship of Him and intercessory prayer for others, etc.
For many years, I have prayed for a better relationship with my daughter, Jayne. She was not any trouble to raise, made good grades, never got into any kind of trouble and her reputation was spotless. But, she didn't like me much and I never could figure out why not. I tried and think I was a good mother, not perfect but not bad. I just didn't know. So, year in and year out, I prayed. In the meantime, I tried my best not to bother her or her husband and I never interfered in how she raised her kids or any other way that I can recall.
Recently, she moved to Michigan which left me alone in Davenport as my older grandsons are in college in Iowa City, Iowa, all but one who is with her. My sweet Kevin. Here he is, praying with his guitar. :) Jayne and her husband are not believers but she allowed me to church the boys as they grew up. When I was still able to go to church, I took the boys with me, and the older ones were baptized in my church when they were younger. Kevin has been attending a private Catholic school, and he likes it.
Back to prayer... since they moved to Michigan, Jayne has called me often. She is coming to Davenport as are the older boys for two days next week to celebrate Thanksgiving for me. This is a big change. Her husband has never sat down in my home, ever, before, much less eat a meal with me. She is going to cater the bigger portion of it, supply the larger table we will need for three adults and four children.
Lately, she has told me that she appreciated all that I did for her and how difficult it must have been at times, when her father was gone or when I was sick or had to travel for work.
At first, I almost didn't believe it could be true. I waited for her to call back and say, 'not going to happen, it was a joke.' See, I was so used to praying for it not really believing and no wonder my prayer was not answered for so long. When we pray, we must have faith, believing He will do what is best for us. In the long wait, I didn't always have faith and really never believed, after so many years, that it would happen. I think she will be here next week and I believe what she said to me was sincere. God has answered my prayer.
I wonder now how many other prayers I have prayed without having a strong enough faith. I have asked the Lord to forgive me for my sinfulness and I will try to be faithful and grateful when I pray. I still pray every day though and most of the prayers are not for me so I believe He heard those prayers and answered them sooner.
One of the preachers in my youth said one time that God shakes us out like corn being husked to get our attention. :) Well, He shook me for years. lol I will be so happy if she comes and all goes well. I believe she will. Something or Someone has changed her heart.
I hope you and yours have a great Thanksgiving with those you love. And, as always,
There are ways that I am unlike most people. While most people are made happier by sunshine, happy songs, and gatherings on holidays, I am just the reverse. My favorite songs are sad songs. On Christmas, my favorite song is 'Blue Christmas' preferably sung by Elvis. It goes, 'I'll have a blue Christmas without you. I'll be so blue thinking about you...' I listen to it over and over, alone. It's not about anyone in particular although there are people I miss of course. My husband Bill, good friend Tom who died two years ago, old friends in Virginia and West Virginia are missed but I've loved the song since childhood.
I do not like to be with people on Christmas or any other holiday except New Year's Eve. I love New Year's Eve, especially at midnight. Mostly I love surviving another year and looking forward to another. I do love life, very much so. My daughter and I exchange gifts, etc. a few days before Christmas and then she has Christmas with her family and I have mine alone, just the way I like it. No gifts, no tree, no lights, just me and a cup of tea and a good TV show or favorite movie on CD. I do NOT feel sad. I feel good. The only thing that would ruin my mood would be the door bell ringing. This year, for the first time, my daughter wants to come to Iowa (she's in Michigan) and bring all four children and her husband for a big feast she is going to cater. I will probably have to take a Xanax or two when all six of them join me in my small apartment just to get through it all. I'm just not used to the company, but we do things for those we love. I can always listen to George Jones singing 'The Grand Tour' after it's all over. Now that's a really sad song.
I also like bad weather. One of the worst punishments I ever received as a child was for standing in the rain in a middle of a bad storm with lightening dancing all around. They had a saying in those days .... 'too dumb to come in from the rain.' :) I am not dumb but I love a storm. Sometimes, my grandmother and I sat on the long wrap-around porch of her home, in a porch swing, with blankets around us as it rained and rained. I loved it. She made us some Sassafrass tea, such a lovely aroma and wonderful taste, the perfect drink to tide one through a perfect storm. This week, the first wet snow of winter hit us here in Iowa. I liked the big wet flakes hitting me in the face. While everyone else was complaining about the cold Iowa winter coming on, I felt wonderful. The only reason I don't stand out in the snow is because I'm rather cold natured and my hands and toes freeze. I do stand at the window and watch it snow, especially at night when the star light catches a twinkle or two on the snowflakes.
I do not totally understand my 'perverse' behavior although I have my thoughts on the cause of it. I love people and I think most people like me, some even love me. I enjoy small social gatherings sometimes, love going to church, love to chat, talk on the phone, write letters, etc. I enjoy the good news in others' lives and wish everyone well. I have always been blessed with many friends. I think deep down I just don't trust 'happy times.' They don't seem to last. I don't believe 'all's well that ends well.' Does it ever end well? Heaven will be a new beginning but death, that's not ending well. I take God's word that 'all things work toward good for those who love the Lord.' Like in most things, I accept His Word. I just haven't seen it in action in that particular instance. Maybe it works for His good or the good of the world. I love the Lord very much but don't like kidney failure, cancer, and a host of other ailments and tragedies. I don't think I really understand the verse. Where is John when I need him? :) Right where he always is, willing to help.
I remember when I was a little girl that my 'spinster' Aunt Aileen used to open her Christmas gifts alone in her room, except for me. I was maybe six or seven. She would not say a word, would give me anything she received that she thought a child would like such as perfume or lacy things or note paper. She would pack up the rest and we'd go have a cup of tea. Hmmmm. Maybe that was the beginning of it. I loved her so much and not just because when she was 18 and I was eight, she gave me 12 boxes of paper dolls that she had saved all her childhood. She also introduced me to Elvis when he was on TV one night when she was 17 and I was seven. She lived with her parents, next door, and she ran into our house yelling, 'Iva Mae, Iva Mae, you've got to come see this gorgeous man singing on TV. You're not going to believe it.' :) What a night that was!
I hope this doesn't depress you. When you have your Thanksgiving or Christmas gala and think of me, think of how happy I will be listening to my sad songs, drinking tea and looking forward to a nice nap ... unless it's snowing, of course, when I will be holding my tea while I stand at the window and watch it snow. :) I am happy and content most of the time. Anyone who knows me well, knows that.
Well, enough of delving into my mind. The holiday season is upon you and I wish you the best Thanksgiving and a very merry Christmas. I hope we have snow in Iowa on Christmas this year.
As always,
