And then... they tied her to the railroad tracks

If you're too young to know what the title means, I'll be too depressed to explain. :) Let's just say, to me, it means when a terrible event happens in your life over which you have no control.

When I was a very little girl, I was very outgoing. I could sing and play piano in church by age seven. I was in school talent contests for the first four years I attended school. In second grade, when I was just six, for talent contest, I dressed like a French woman with a tight skirt with a split up the side, high chunky heels, a red top and a dark beret on my head. I sang and danced (on top of a piece of luggage we called 'suit cases' in those days) to this song.

Sentimental Journey

I won. In the third grade, I danced to 'April Showers' with three friends, and we won second place. We danced while twirling paper umbrellas and wearing pink ballerina shoes with white dresses.

April Showers

In the fourth grade, I did a recitation -- the words of Mary, Queen of Scott's before she died. I won second place.

I use to tap dance on top of our dining room table to a song called 'Hadacol Boogie' and friends of the family would throw quarters at my feet.

Hadacol Boogie by Jerry Lee Lewis

I was a happy, smiling, fun-loving kid. Then tragedy struck. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's true. Awful things happened to me and my brothers and life was never the same.

While I continued to play piano and sing at church (with my cousin, Pam and more of an obligation than anything else), I never again entered any contest, became very much an introvert, and very studious. A 'brainy brat' they called me. I graduated second in my class (I did make a short salutatorian speech at graduation but did not look up once). I didn't come out of this 'funk' for many years.

What happened to me wasn't all that unusual but, for me, it was life altering. I've often wondered if it was my 'destiny' or if it was my destiny 'altered.' Was it God's plan or God's plan altered? At the time, I thought that I had to 'take control of things' to avoid another 'incident.' I thought my destiny was in my hands. After all, the Bible said 'we had to choose' our destiny or I thought that was what it said. I believed I had to be ever vigilant, that somehow I had 'allowed' the incident to happen, that it was 'my fault.'

I have learned a lot about life and destiny, mostly that I have little or no control over it all. I think we do make choices and suffer (or enjoy) the consequences of them but ultimate destiny belongs to God. I believe we choose how we react to events. I could have allowed the 'incident' to ruin my life or even have ended my life because of it. Instead, I chose to gather up what was left of me and get on with it, that is, get on with life.

I eventually finished school, went to college, met a great guy, became a mother and lived life as best I could. I never turned my back on God nor did He abandon me. But life was different. Do you think things happen to alter God's plans or were they His plans all along? I find it difficult to believe that He preferred the sad, studious, shy girl to the lively, spirited girl I was but maybe so. What do you think?

Me, in fifth grade. There's a flaw in this photo, I did not have a dent in my forehead although I felt that way sometimes. :) I call this my Franenstein phase. lol

Ecc. 9:11 says "I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."

This means to me: Happeneth to them all - Every man has what may be called time and space to act in, and opportunity to do a particular work. But in this time and opportunity there is 'incident,' what may fall in; and occurrence, what may meet and frustrate an attempt. These things should be wisely weighed, and seriously balanced; for those four things belong to every human action. While you have time, seek an opportunity to do what is right; but calculate on hinderances and oppositions, because time and opportunity have their incident and occurrence.

My life was different after age ten but no less precious. Ecc. 9:4 says something like 'it is better to be a live dog than a dead lion.' I don't know what my life would have been like without the the 'incident' but it has been worth living. I learned things from what happened that caused me to be much more compassionate, kind and loving than I would have been otherwise. Do I wish I had not had the 'incident?' Yes, if for nothing else but to know how I would have 'turned out.' Perhaps I would have been a vain person with nothing but trifles accomplished. Perhaps not? I wonder if God will let me know some day.

Back to this world I now occupy, I am content. With what I was given, I believe I've done my best. I have called upon God since I was seven years old and I found Him and He has held me in his loving arms. As Psalm 23 tells me, I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.

Jer. 29:11-13 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

As always,

Beware the Dogs

I was in the book of Isaiah today for my bible study time. I am sure I read this verse before but don't remember having questions of it until today. Isa 56:10 "His watchmen are blind: they are all ignorant, they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; sleeping, lying down, loving to slumber" I know that dogs are considered to be rather dirty and lazy in the Old Testament so to call the watchmen dumb dogs is pretty insulting. I believe the worst thing that could happen to one then was to be eaten by dogs. So who are the dumb dogs spoken of here, the actual watchmen of the city or the prophets or who? I assume since it was said they could not bark, they could not 'warn' someone when necessary. I'll have to leave it for another day unless some fellow Bible scholars here can help me out.









I have spent most of the day watching tennis semifinals. Did anyone else watch the Djokavic vs. Federer match? Absolutely a great game. Djokavic pulled it out at the last minute after about four hours of grueling play. I think he's great but I have a thing about tall, thin, aggressive guys anyway. :) He is from Serbia. His interaction with the crowd/audience today was interesting. Their applauding Federer more seemed to bother him until he actually won. Men? Who can understand them?

Other than watch TV like the lazy dogs who do not get their work done, I did make some great spaghetti. Enough for me and froze enough for three more meals for someone. I had some fresh peaches. I had one even though the renal diet forbids almost all fresh fruit. Needs to be cooked to be acceptable. Since my lab work is always pretty good, I chanced one little peach.



I always read Yahoo news every day. They list the important down to the implausible. Today I read of this fellow, a 20-foot 'monster' crocodile captured in the Philippines, weighing about a ton. He is awesome! He apparently is stressed out over the crowds and being captured that he won't eat, but he can go six months without eating. Wish I could.

Some other things in the news... will Hillary run for President since Obama has lost popularity? It could happen. Edward Kennedy ran against Carter when he lost popularity (didn't win). Why aren't blacks defending Obama more and will they turn on him in 2012? How many scandals will be dug up on Rick Perry; one has been found so far. Will Obama's job plans make a difference? Certainly hope so but wonder how much he can do without the Republicans, the 'just say no' crowd. Can he even get a bill through congress?

Well, going to have a cup of tea and watch a little more tennis and then a movie. Definitely a lazy Saturday. Saturday is now my favorite day of the week, no dialysis on the weekends and not as busy a day as Sunday. Hope you are enjoying your weekend and, as always,

Summer Time

Summer time and the living is easy, according to Sam Cooke - Summertime

Today was wonderful here in Iowa, temp in the 70's, nice breeze. I loved it. I was able to go to church today, a new friend taking me. Came home and fixed us some home-made onion rings, the thin kind I like, and some stewed squash, stewed in water, butter, onion diced and a small pinch of nut meg. Salted to taste. It all was wonderful. I am not vegan but I don't eat much meat, some stewed chicken now and then. That was lunch. About 7:30 p.m. made me some berry pancakes. Sometimes breakfast food is so good at night.





During Sunday School, a lady asked 'if God created the universe, who created God.' Our pastor gave the best and simplest answer I've heard so far for this question: He said:

"The universe (including time itself) can be shown to have had a beginning. It is unreasonable to believe something could begin to exist without a cause. The universe therefore requires a cause, just as Genesis 1:1 and Romans 1:20 teach.

God, as creator of time, is outside of time. Since therefore He has no beginning in time, He has always existed, so doesn't need a cause. He just 'is.' We who are trapped/controlled by time have a difficult time believing in 'timeless' existence but it is so."

In the news today, heard this very good news (to me anyway, having 'pain issues' as the young folks say. The medication I receive is very strong and effective but side effects that make life more difficult.

The article said:

"Saliva from humans has yielded a natural painkiller up to six times more powerful than morphine, researchers say. The substance, dubbed opiorphin, may spawn a new generation of natural painkillers that relieve pain as well as morphine but without the addictive and psychological side effects of thetraditional drug. When the researchers injected a pain-inducing chemical into rats'
paws, 1 milligram of opiorphin per kilogram of body weight achieved the same painkilling effect as 3 milligrams of morphine."

They believe they can synthesize the substance and begin to produce pain medicine from it soon. I hope it works... whew.

If you are a reader, check this out: Amazing number of good, and FREE ebooks

A ? for John: How do neurotic narcissists behave and should we avoid them?

As you must notice, my mind goes from one thing to another. I am overwhelmed most days at what I want to know or do and there is not enough time to do it all. :( But I still have tomorrows :) Thanks to God, prayers from loved ones.

At the near ending of this day, may

Nothing Like a Dame!

I was chatting with a good friend and about half way through the conversation, I realized how much fun I had with her, how much she makes me laugh when there's not that much to laugh at, and how she encourages me when I am down. The thought went through my head, 'there's nothing like a dame.' :)

I love men, oh yes I do, and I spend a lot of time trying to appeal to a man. I do have my little bag of tricks and know how to use them. But when I need someone to talk to who really understands, it is most often a woman friend. Men can relate, up to a point, but they never, in my opinion, really understand how a woman feels. I don't think they can. Men and women, after all, are different and especially emotionally. Not saying they don't care, they do. It's that they don't 'feel' things as intensely as a woman and are not as nurturing. It was meant to be this way. This friend I was talking with, I've not known too long but I know what I like in a friend.

I have other close friends, Linda and Brenda, twins, who have been my friends since junior high school. Through thick and then, good times and bad times, we have remained good friends and I still love talking to them.

Here they are at our high school prom, Brenda on the left. They ended up marrying those boys who are brothers, Larry and Bill. Both have had wonderful marriages and are wonderful people. I'm so glad they 'took me in' their fold. Thank you, Lin and Bren, and God. :)


Today was a good day, a non-dialysis day. Slept a little longer, had some wonderful strawberries and real whipped cream for lunch. Did some crocheting. I am making some hats which I will give for Christmas gifts to the nurses at the dialysis center who are so very good to me. I like this pattern, tell me what you think. I call them slouchy hats.

My daughter called me from Michigan. She and her family get to finally move into their new home in Rochester Hts., MI. We had a very good chat. She will send me digital photos of her new home. They met the neighbors and Kevin really likes the family next door who is into all things geeky, computers, gadgets, etc. Kevin is ten now, very bright and just the sweetest boy. The first picture below is one of my favorites. His father works for the 'Arsenal,' (U.S. Army). That's his dad's cap. I do not know why my photos won't center but it's getting on my nerves. John!!!

Hmmm. Maybe I figured it out. lol Forget that yodel call John. lol


This is a photo of Mr. Perry, Republican running for President. He's eating a corn dog. lol Shades of Bush, God help us. Another faux cowboy in the White House. Do we need that? I mean, really?

The weekly battles between Obama who is seeming a bit wimpy and the 'just say NO' Republicans continues this week over the night the President will make his 'jobs' speech. We, Americans, need JOBS. Please, both sides, do something!

Well, enough carrying on for tonight. Hope you have a wonderful weekend, that God whispers in your ear often and that you have peace. :) And, as always...

Days of Our Lives

Days of our Lives, name of a soap opera that I now watch because there's nothing else good on during that time while I'm lying in a dialysis chair. As soaps go, it's not bad. There are some good-looking guys to help me not notice the bad plots.

Today, I'm very introspective of my own life, the good, the bad and the ugly, the ugly being the first 15 years, the rest pretty good, sometimes great. That's how lives go for most of us I guess.

I have loved and been loved and am loved. That alone has made life worth living.





This is 'E.J.' on Days ... so good lookin. :)

Meanwhile...

One of my writing dot com friends wrote this poem which I like very much. It explains my current feelings so well.

You
And
I
One of you, one of I,
One of choice, one of pride,
One of beauty, one of steel,
One of loving, one of chill,

One of hopeful dreams and means,
One of artistic laden schemes,
One of needing, One of seeking,

You of I, I of you,
You of spirit, I of truth
Two loves,
You,
And,
I.
--MDuci

Things to do not have to be perfect in a relationship to be good. I try not to throw away the good because of a blemish or two. Love is love and it is not the same for everyone, not the same at every moment, not even the same at the end, but love is to be cherished, appreciated, thought of, sung about, cried over, longed for and prayed to God about, thankful for. I am content in that.

I had a wonderful weekend with my good friend and his children. We went to our old church together. He sang his 'theme song,' Who Am I? Love that song.

Click Here for 'Who Am I'

I did a lot of cooking to be prepared for the weekend, mostly sweets.



This one is Chocolate and Peanut Butter Ice Cream pie. One big piece is enough to cause a coronary. :) Essentially, you make a large block of frozen ice cream in a nice big pie plate. You make a fudge candy with peanut butter in it. While still warm, you pour it over the ice cream. Voila! Delicious. What is not eaten should be stored in the fridge.

The children were given a little but we all enjoyed it.

The old adage, 'time flies' seemed true this weekend. So much love and laughter and then time 'was up.' They are gone and I have my memories. I have a store house of good memories when I need to think of pleasant things.

Hope you had a nice weekend, hope no one was overly affected by the storm Irene. My many friends in Virginia were affected one way or the other, most by the power outage. I am so glad and thankful Irene was not as bad as predicted. Lots and lots of rain and Vermont seems to have had the most devastation. God bless them.

Until the next day of our lives ....

Thief in the Night

Re 3:3 Remember therefore how thou hast received and heard, and hold fast, and repent. If therefore thou shalt not watch, I will come on thee as a thief, and thou shalt not know what hour I will come upon thee.

I was reminded of this verse Tuesday when I heard of the earth quake in Virginia, the first in many, many years. People were not expecting it. It came like 'a thief,' Fortunately, although it's epicenter was in Virginia and it reached all the way up the coast to NY and beyond, it did not do that much damage in the way of disability or death. I have many family and friends in Virginia and immediately began to call them when I heard the news. Cell phones were down, land lines were tied up so it took a while before I could feel calm about the situation. Finally, I got in touch with my loved ones who were a bit shaken but all right.

I hope to be more prepared for the Lord's coming with the same love which I had when I wrapped my arms around the Lord and His gospel. How are we to be prepared for His coming?

We must hold fast the truths which we received when we were saved and keep the 'true' religion. We are to repent of any sin, any time that we have departed from the truth of the gospel.

I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was but seven years old, but I was completely aware of what I was doing. I was baptized in a creek on a cold November day. Just as they were about to dip me in the water, a beautiful doe walked into the water and looked at the small crowd gathered and the people singing 'We shall gather at the river...' She did not seem afraid, nor were we and they took me under the water. I arose from the water re-born, a new creature and felt heaven-bound already :) In all these many years, despite trials and tribulations, the loss of my mate and now my health, my faith has not left me and I cling closer than ever. I thank God for being able to endure through the years for many, many people have tried to sway me, and many situations and temptations. Every time I even thought of turning away from Him, I remembered the old hymn, 'Trust and Obey (for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey). When you think of it that way, it's very simple, no shades of truth, no political corrctness, no 'tolerance,' etc. Just trust (his Word) and obey.

Today is a non-dialysis day, zippity do dah! :) I got up very early so as not to miss a possible waking moment. I have dusted and picked up a bit, have bread pudding that smells of cinnamon and warmth in the oven, and now have the rest of the day for my 'like to do' list. I like to surf the web, watch a couple shows on TV, read, eat, talk to friends either on the phone or chat and just fool around until bed time when I read the Bible and pray. Doesn't sound like an exciting life to some but to one who was pronounced dead for a few minutes less than a year ago, it sounds wonderful and to do 'my thing' without a lot of pain is even more wonderful.

This Sunday, my dearest friend and his family will visit. I can barely wait. I have made his little Anna a couple outfits I hope she can wear. I hope she likes them. There's a good bit of summer left in Virginia but I've also made her a 'blankie' for cool evenings. I have gifts for the other children, too, of course.

I have plenty of sweets on hand but not for the children. :) I look forward to us all going to our old church and maybe John will sing for us. I miss those days a lot.

Nothing exciting to tell today except that Jesus Lives! Hope you all are having a great day and do so throughout the weekend.

Until the next time,

Black bus, huh?

I am a news hound. I admit it. Every day, I watch at least five newscasts, three times a day. ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN and MSNBC. Sometimes I go read Yahoo news if I feel something has not been covered totally.

Yesterday, all day long, I heard about the one-million dollar black bus to carry 'protectees' when they are out and about in our great nation. Maybe it's just me, but it seems that having a big, black, shiny bus carrying our dear black President around is like putting a bull's eye on his back! Any rogue wing nut, angry mob of tea party'ers, jhadist here or there with access to a grenade launcher, etc. could look around and see the big black bus and think, 'Yowza, Thank Allah, 'hot damn', whatever', a protectee is aboard,' and blow the bus to smithereens. I think the bus is a good idea and probably saves money since before now they leased a bus, outfitted it with all the modern technology, and then un-outfitted it when the trip was over, very expensive, but a big, black, shiny bus? I think not. lol

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One of several things I collect is teapots. I have long since run out of surfaces to display my little pots but that does not stop me from accumulating them. When I am very old and fall asleep and die in my computer chair, I fear they will not be able to transport me to the funeral home because I will be surrounded by zillions of tea pots. I love them. Neither of these pots are that expensive but I like the paint jobs on both and the little frog is charming. Both were given to me by very special friends which make them much more 'expensive' and lovable to me. Do you collect anything? If so, why?

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Today is a non-dialysis day and I have so many things I want to do. I usually start every day with prayer and Bible study. When I study the Bible, I always have so many questions, and I don't think it fair to constantly be writing John about them so I try to figure them out myself with the help of study guides, commentaries, etc. Some answers are elusive though? Like, what really happened to the 30 pieces of silver given to Judas. Imagine if one was a coin collector back then, what a find those would be! If love is not jealous, but God is a 'jealous' God, how can God be love as the scriptures say? I have a vague idea of the answer but not sure. I think it hinges on the definition of 'jealous.' What verse is the most contentious, most misunderstood, most often quoted scripture you know of? I think it is the verse, 'judge not lest thou be judged.' What verse do you think most misunderstood?

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Well, it's 10:26 a.m. and I have so much I need/want to do (my Mensa newsletter just arrived and wonderful puzzles await), the maintenance man is coming by to put up my new curtain rods, my socks are soaking and need washed (I like snow-white socks to remain snow white) and I have a peach cobbler in the oven :), so adieu, adios, later alligator until next time.

Once again, thanks for visiting and